Crazy
by Amalia Autumn
Summary: There was a reason Edward was driven crazy....and why Roy will never set foot on a roller coaster ever again. Now rated T for some mild swearing.
1. Crazy

**Just a piece that really begged me to write it down...(grin) Enjoy!!!**

Winry walked into the hospital room, tears streaming down her face at the young man, tied in a straitjacket, rocking back and forth and staring off into the distance, mumbling aimlessly to himself.

She cried out, "Oh, God, Ed...!" she started to cry harder at her friend's now insane mind.

"Marsupials are funny when they're greeeeeeennnn..." Ed mumbled aimlessly.

Winry, sobbing, turned desperately to Al, who was shaking his head in remorse, "How did it happen...? Tell me everything!"

Al remained silent, fearing that if he did tell Winry she would most surely hate him. She would hit him, beat him senseless--he couldn't say it to her.

Winry grabbed him desperately by the collar, and screamed in his face, "TELL ME!"

Al, a bit shocked by her sudden outburst, gently pried her hands off his shirtfront. Meanwhile, Ed, newly crazy, shouted,

"MEEKY MOMO HAS AN ATTITUDE!!!!!!"

Al sighed, then began,

"Well, brother...he...I...he went crazy because..."

"WHY?!?!" Winry yelled.

"I...I..." Al began to cry himself.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!"

"AL AND WINRY ARE NAMES THAT RHYYYYYYMEEEEE!" screamed Ed randomly.

Al finally broke down,

"I--I gave him milk!"


	2. Cactus

**I decided to make 'Crazy' a series of comedic drabbles. This one is inspired from a certain scene in 'Avatar'...**

Al sighed, his sigh reverberating throughout the suit of armor as he and Edward wandered through the sticky, hot desert leading to Lior.

"Are we there yet?" Ed grumbled, sweating up a storm as he kicked sand.

Al sighed once again, "Brother, do you see the city yet in the distance?"

"No."

"Then we're not there yet." Al snapped, frustrated.

"I'm so thirsty...I can't believe we ran out of water..." Ed moaned. It was then he stopped dead in his tracks, and Al with him.

"AL, LOOK!" Ed yelled, and then he ran like a maniac towards the green cactus. Transmuting his automail into a blade, he cut open the cactus and grinned at the juice swishing in the plant.

"Um, Brother, I don't know if you should drink that...we don't know if it's poisonous..." Al mumbled nervously, shuffling his feet.

"Aw, c'mon, if it was poisonous, then it wouldn't be in this desert, it'd be on a tropical island!" Ed replied happily, chugging down half the juice from the cactus.

"Brother!" Al exclaimed.

Ed swallowed the liquid, and they stood there for a good ten minutes.

Then, he grinned, "See? Nothin' to worry about, it really quenches your--!"

Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he cocked his head to one side. Al backed away, "Brother? Are you all right?"

And then Ed did the unthinkable.

"DRINK THE CACTUS JUICE!!" Ed yelled, shaking his butt as he danced, "Nothin' is quenchier! IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!"

"Ed--what are you--?" Al was scared now.

"Did you talk to the circle birds yet?" Ed's voice was dreamy, "They told me they can help us get your body back, Al..."

"Brother, you're high on cactus juice, snap out of it!" Al exclaimed worriedly.

"I didn't know I put your soul inside of a mushroom, Al," Ed sounded as if he were in a trance. And then, to Al's horror, Ed started doing the worm on the sand,

"MUSHY MUSHROOM, MUSHY MUSHROOM!!"

He then rose, only to wave his arms around like a nut, "Mushy mushroom...!!"

"...that's what you get for drinking cactus juice," Al shook his head, walking away.

**I'm sorry, I just pictured Ed high on cactus juice...and doing the Sokka, if Avatar fans are reading this.**


	3. Photograph

**Inspired from comedian Gabriel Iglesias' 'Hot and Fluffy'. Watch it. It's hilarious.**

Roy Mustang was not having a good day.

For one, he accidently set fire to his paperwork when Hawkeye ordered him to sign them--no, more like threatened him with her deadly pistol--and then, Havoc finally gets the girl of his dreams--and the girl isn't at all interested in poor Roy, the typical ladies' man.

And now, poor Flame Alchemist be all, was on a roller coaster with Breda and Havoc.

It started off so simple. Gracia Hughes invited everyone to the amusement park in town, so they could be buffers for little Elysia.

Elysia was afraid of the huge roller coaster, so Breda and Havoc, being the adult kids they were, volunteered to ride it first. They asked Roy, but since he refused, Hawkeye held up her pistol and threatened him and told him to amuse the little girl, since it was her birthday, after all.

Poor Roy reluctantly was shoved onto the car along with Breda and Havoc. And now, they were at least three-hundred feet overhead the city, on a hill, waiting for the big drop.

"This can't be happening..." Roy's eyes widened at the huge drop.

"Hey!" Breda yelled appreciatively, "They take a photo of us when we go down!"

"Really?" Havoc's eyes lit up.

"Oh, no..." Roy rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I got an idea! For the photo!" Breda yelled.

"What, what?" Roy and Havoc said it at the same time. Havoc said it out of pure excitement, while Roy said it in pure annoyance.

"Let's flash the camera." Breda grinned evilly.

"That's so stupid!" Havoc yelled. Then, he grinned and gave a thumbs-up, "I'm in!'

"Hey, Roy, what about you?" Breda slapped his friend on the back.

Sighing in exasperation, Roy said, "Fine."

Just then, the roller coaster began the huge drop.

As the three military men screamed, they lifted their shirts up, and heard the click just when the ride stopped.

"Whoo! That was awesome!" Breda cheered.

"Let's see the picture!" Havoc said happily.

The three men met up with Fuery (who pleaded sickness from the previous spinning elephant ride), Hawkeye, Gracia, Elysia, and Falman (who just arrived).

"We gotta see the picture!" Breda and the group waltzed on up to the photographer. Little did they realize, the photographer was with two security guards.

When Fuery pointed it out in between vomiting in the trash bins, Roy, Havoc, and Breda looked pale, just about ready to scurry off.

And that was when the guards noticed them.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," one of the men said, pointing at the photo in the photographer's hands, "perhaps you can answer this one question for me."

The three men gulped while the others gasped at the sight. It was _their _picture!

"Who on earth would do such a thing in a child's park?" exclaimed Gracia.

"That's what we're trying to figure out," the man said. He then went up to Roy, Havoc, and Breda, "Gentlemen, my question to you about this photo is...do you recognize the three big women in this photo?"

Tires screeched in Roy's mind.

Did he, Havoc, and Breda...just actually got mistook for _women _in the photo?

"Uh, no, no, no, sir," Havoc stammered sheepishly, "don't look familiar!"

"Y--yeah, no way!" Breda exclaimed.

Once they were cleared by security, the men scurried off.

"Hey, did we just get called women in our photo?" Havoc whispered.

"Apparently! I'm never doing that again!" Breda sulked.

"Well, there's one thing about you three," Hawkeye replied from behind them.

"And what's that, Lieutenant?" Roy casually turned around to conceal his mortification.

"When you guys are dropping three-hundred feet, with your shirts pulled up," Hawkeye smirked, "you three all look like sexy bitches."

Roy Mustang, Jean Havoc, and Heymans Breda never went on any roller coasters ever again after that.


End file.
